Tsuki Takes Over
by Psychos-Anonymous
Summary: Tsuki has invaded P.A.'s Supreme Authoress Control Room and has decided to make a new story of her own....using the unsuspecting characters of various animes and movies. Starts in the Yu Yu world and gets completely insane from there. Major X-overs
1. From the west side!

WARNING: TSUKI IS LOOSE! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR PITIFUL LIFES! *ahem* Please continue...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, Yu Yu Hakusho, Teletubbies, or anything else I use...  
  
AN: I categorized this under Yu Yu Hakusho because it starts there and escalates.  
  
ONWARD!  
  
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In the middle of P.A.'s large mansion, there was a huge room that was filled with computers and radar systems. This room was the....AUTHORESS SUPREME CONTROL ROOM! ROOM-Room-room...Yes, this is where all of P.A.'s ideas are born. But currently, our authoress was absent from the overly large room. The intercom buzzed and a familiar voice came over the speakers.  
  
Tsuki: P.A? I have your mint-chocolate cappuccino! (AN: ^_^ Mmmmmmmm...) Open the doors so I can give it to you! P.A.? *door opens on own* WHAT THE HECK?! This is strange...P.A. always locks this door...  
  
Tsuki walks into the room and finds not a trace of her authoress. She sets down the cappuccino and looks around the room. She comes to the conclusion that something horrible must of happened to P.A. Does she worry like all good relatives...no.  
  
Tsuki: SHE'S NOT HERE! I wonder where she is? *looks at the center computer* I could just look at it a little bit.... NO! P.A. would never forgive me if I used the mighty center computer! *looks at it longingly* Can't resist...  
  
Tsuki walks over and sits in the chair and presses the 'on' button. The large screen comes on and a message appears on the screen. The message reads, "Welcome to the AUTHORESS SUPREME COMPUTER! TER-Ter-ter...Can I take your order?  
  
Tsuki: YES! I AM IN CONTROL NOW! Let's get started...*cracks her fingers loudly and her eyes widen* Owie...... that kind of hurt...NOW, Let's get started! *types some stuff* I want some humor...  
  
On the large screen come four characters. The characters are P.A., Ceke, Cean, and Matt. On the top of the screen, it says, "default characters for humor". Tsuki smiles.  
  
Tsuki: I think I'll use P.A. She always does good humor...  
  
Computer: Character that you have chosen- P.A. Do you wish to add more?  
  
Tsuki: *thinks* Can I use the other three later?  
  
Computer: Request accepted. File characters- Ceke, Cean, and Matt have been transferred to chapter file and saved.  
  
Tsuki: *rubs hands together evilly* Perfect...*types some more* Now for some action and adventure!  
  
On the screen pop five characters. The characters are Legolas from LOTR, Aragorn (also from LOTR), Youko Kurama, Human Kurama, and Hiei.  
  
Tsuki: For my idea, I will need Legolas, Aragorn, and Youko Kurama. Computer! Add those to the chapter file and save! Select for use Human Kurama and Hiei!  
  
Computer: Request accepted. File characters- Hiei and Human Kurama were sent to story line and File characters- Legolas, Aragorn, and Youko Kurama were sent to chapter file and saved.  
  
Tsuki: What do I do now?  
  
Computer: You really are a dumbass aren't ya?  
  
Tsuki: You sure lost the formality...  
  
Computer: What eva! Don't you be jumpin' on mah case! I am just an electronic!  
  
Tsuki: O_O I would like the characters for horror...  
  
Computer: Well mah brotha! Go down thah ghetto an' I'll show ya some horror!  
  
Tsuki: Characters please.  
  
Computer: Now get off my fuckin' back biatch! I'll show ya your damn characters!  
  
On the screen appeared the Teletubbies, Barney, and Ronald McDonald.  
  
Compter: Choose ya pimp!  
  
Tsuki: How about the Teletubbies?  
  
Computer: Y'all have some bad choice in pimps! They ain't even bitchin'!  
  
Tsuki: -_-# JUST ADD THEM TO THE FUCKIN' CHAPTER FILE AND SAVE!  
  
Computer: Geez bitch! You need to be chillin' like a villain, yo? They been sent to the chapter file and they be saved.  
  
Tsuki: What do we do now, computer?  
  
Computer: Well, ya need to choose the setting to your story, the plot and events, romances if ya want them, and the twisted ending and moral if ya want one.  
  
Tsuki: This is more work than I thought...Let's get started computer!  
  
Computer: Right on girlfriend!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Much time passes and many things are added~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tsuki: *wipes sweat from brow* That was WAY harder than I thought! Is it set computer?  
  
Computer: Ready to go wit' thah flow dog! Just press the enter button on the west side!  
  
Tsuki: *looks around on the keyboard*  
  
Computer: *sigh* On your otha' west side girlfriend....  
  
Tsuki: OH! *find the button* Here goes everything....*closes eyes and presses button*  
  
The room is engulfed in a bright white light and the light spreads to the rest of the worlds in the oblivion that was ANIME WORLD. As soon as it comes, it disappeared, leaving the inhabitants unaware of anything. And so it begins...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That was the first chapter. Tell us what you think about it. This was random insanity and it will remain that way. This was written at like 11:00 at night and all I had that day was like, 13 pudding pops...Poor P.A.! Who ever thought her computer was ghetto... 


	2. Oro?

I am updating finally! A lot of things were taking up my time so I couldn't type. ANYWAY! Here is the second chapter in 'Tsuki Takes Over'!  
  
ONWARD!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this! Everything I have reference to is not mine! There's too much stuff to list...  
  
AN: The first chapter was vaguely what is going to be in the story. I might add things in but I assure you this story is a major crossover!  
  
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When we last left off, Tsuki just altered the fabric of time and space to her will to create this story. What has she changed? What will happen to the inhabitants of the various worlds? Why am I wasting time with these meaningless questions? Anyway, our story starts at Yusuke's apartment, where P.A., Ceke, Cean, Matt, and Yusuke are....doing stuff...  
  
P.A.: NO! Yusuke! You can't put it there! That's the wrong place!  
  
Matt: OW! Yusuke! That's my-  
  
Yusuke: SHUT UP, will you?! It's not my fault this thing's slippery!  
  
Cean: Actually...you did spill your s-  
  
Yusuke: ALL RIGHT! IT'S MY FAULT!  
  
Ceke: LEFT HAND BLUE!  
  
Yes. They were playing Twister. (P.A.: Had you fooled, didn't I?) Yusuke and Matt were currently in a stalemate while Cean and P.A watched. Ceke was the spinner.  
  
P.A.: Hey, Yusuke?  
  
Yusuke: *moves left hand to blue* Yeah?  
  
P.A.: I'm getting kind of bored.  
  
Matt: *tries to move hand but slips in the soda spilled by Yusuke* OW!  
  
Yusuke: I WIN!  
  
Matt: No fair....  
  
Cean: Play again?  
  
Ceke: YEAH!  
  
Everyone gets ready to play another game while P.A. sits there trying to solve her dilemma.  
  
P.A.: What can I do?.......I KNOW! *whips out cell phone and dials* Hello?  
  
Kuwabara: *on the other end* Yeah? Who's this?  
  
P.A.: *in a sexy voice* I'm just a girl who has her heart set on you, Kuwababy...  
  
Kuwabara: R-really?  
  
P.A.: Yeah...So do you want to know how bad I want you, Kuwababy?  
  
Kuwabara: Yeah! Sure. How bad do you want me?  
  
P.A.: Why don't you meet me and find out? Unless, you already have someone special...  
  
Kuwabara: I don't have anyone special! I'll meet you....uhhhhhh...where do you want to meet?  
  
P.A.: *in a lust filled voice* How about...*in regular voice* IN HELL, WHERE HIEI IS GONNA SEND YOU AFTER HE FINDS OUT WHAT YOU'D DO TO YUKINA!  
  
Kuwabara: ACK! P.A?! Wha-how? What the-  
  
P.A.: I think I'll go pay Hiei a little visit right now. He will be oh-so- pleased to hear what news I have. See ya, *snicker* Kuwababy.  
  
Kuwabara: NO! Wai-*P.A. hangs up*  
  
P.A.: This solves my little problem. *gets up and walks to the door*  
  
Cean: Where ya going?  
  
P.A.: Out. *starts to walk out* OH! Keep an eye on the channel three news for a while, ok? *leaves*  
  
Matt and Yusuke: What was that about?  
  
Ceke: RIGHT FOOT GREEN!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~OUTSIDE THE BUILDING~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
P.A.: This is going to be great! *gets in car* Ummmmmmmm...how do I drive this thing?  
  
You see, P.A. can't drive. Cean drove them here and this is a special car. Many dials and buttons cover the dashboard and there is no steering wheel. This is going to be a problem.  
  
P.A.: This is going to be a problem...1) I can't drive! and 2) This IS Tsuki's car. I think this is button that starts it....*presses button*  
  
A large laser pops out from under the hood and blows up a convenience store down the street.  
  
P.A.: O_O Wrong button. *pushes multiple buttons*  
  
A few minutes and seven destroyed buildings later....  
  
P.A.: *sitting in started car that now has a steering wheel* THERE! Now all I need to do is...*floors the gas petal* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- *BANG!* Damn tree...*floors it again* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-*BAM!* Damn mailbox...*floors it* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- *THUMPTHUMPTHUMP THUMPTHUMP* Oops...gotta watch out for those pedestrians....*floors it* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- *WHAP!* OH MY GOD! Was that Kenshin!? *gets out of car and runs to the front*  
  
Kenshin: @_@ Oro?  
  
P.A.: OH MY GOD! I'M SO SORRY KENSHIN! CAN YOU FORGIVE ME?!  
  
Kenshin: *rubs head* I believe it was an accident. I forgive you, that I do.  
  
P.A.: *blinkblink* Are you sure? I just freakin' hit you with a car! Do you need an Advil? Or maybe some pipe weed?  
  
Kenshin: *stands up brushing himself off* It is all right, that it is. You need not worry yourself Miss...  
  
P.A.: OH! I'm P.A.!  
  
Kenshin: All right, Miss P.A. Where were you going in such a hurry?  
  
P.A.: *stands in a stupor until she remembers her mission* OH YEAH! I gotta go tell Hiei! *runs to get in the car but stops, turns, and runs back to Kenshin* You want to come with? I need to teach someone a lesson.  
  
Kenshin: I do not know...  
  
All of the sudden a girl runs around the corner at the end of the street and starts to look for something...or someone...  
  
Kaoru: KENSHIN! WHERE DID YOU GO!? YOU STILL HAVE CHORES TO DO! *spots Kenshin cowering next to a stupefied P.A.* THERE YOU ARE! *starts to run towards them* JUST WAIT TIL I GET YOU KENSHIN!  
  
P.A.: *snaps out of stupor* HOLY CRAP FOR CRAP! *grabs Kenshin* We're outta here!  
  
Kenshin: Oro!?  
  
P.A.: Yeah, yeah....*throws him in the car and jumps in drivers seat* BONSAI! *floors it*  
  
They fly away from the street and infuriated Kaoru and turn the corner to continue her trip to Kurama's house. (P.A.: I'm looking for Hiei, remember?)  
  
Kaoru: KENSHIIIIIIIIIIN! YOU WON'T GET AWAY SO EASILY!  
  
Back in the car...  
  
Kenshin: Thank you Miss P.A. I would have been doomed if Miss Kaoru had caught me, that I would. *looks around car* What an interesting contraption.  
  
P.A.: *slips on sunglasses and opens sunroof (P.A.: I'm startin' to get the hang of this)* Thanks! So Kenshin, anywhere in particular that you want to be dropped off, or do you want one of my brilliant escape plans?  
  
Kenshin: *gulps and looks out back window* Well, if its not to much trouble, may I join you on your...um...journey? I do not want to be found by Miss Kaoru.  
  
P.A.: I'm not too sure about that...I KNOW! Now all you'll need to do is get a new name and you need to move to Kentucky to start a life as a turnip breeder!  
  
Kenshin: Ô_Ô Oro?  
  
P.A.: No wait...that's was Aunt Gertrude's plan to escape the mafia...OH WELL! She never patented it!  
  
Kenshin: Can't I join you in whatever mission you are on, Miss P.A.? Please may I?  
  
P.A.: Well, I guess you can...CAT!!!! *swerves car to avoid the Trigun neko*  
  
Kenshin: ^_^ THANK YOU MISS P.A.!!! *gives her a big hug*  
  
P.A.: Kenshin! I'm trying to drive without casualties!  
  
Kenshin: I apologize for my actions, that I do. *sits quietly in the passenger seat looking at the passing buildings/debris/unconscious pedestrians*  
  
P.A.: It's ok. WE'RE HE~ERE! *slams on brakes in front of Kurama's house*  
  
Kenshin: *gets out of car* Are you coming, Miss P.A.?  
  
P.A.: In a minute! I need to turn off this thing. *looks around* Ooooooooh! What does this button do? *presses big button marked 'Only For Emergencies!'*  
  
The car shakes violently and Kenshin grabs P.A. out of the car as it starts to transform into a giant robot. When it is finished, a large Megaduce resembling the Big O stands there except....its PINK!  
  
P.A.: WOW! Look what I did Kenshin!  
  
Kenshin: What is it? It looks frightening, that it does.  
  
P.A.: As much as something in pink can be frightening....*notices glare from Kenshin Ò_Ó* ^_^U Ehehehehe...not applying to you...eheheheheh. Like I often say, 'REAL MEN WEAR PINK!'  
  
Kenshin: ¬_¬ That's what I thought...  
  
P.A.: Anyway, what do we do with a thing as big as shimuckna?!  
  
Megadues: Password: Shimuckna accepted. Begin auto pilot doomsday. *stomps away*  
  
Kenshin and P.A.: O_O  
  
P.A.: Kenshin?  
  
Kenshin: Yes, Miss P.A.?  
  
P.A.: That never happened.  
  
Kenshin: Yes, Miss P.A.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
So what ya think? R&R please! I really need to go and update everything else, so JA NE!!!!! Don't worry too! They will get to the house next chapter! 


	3. Happy Clown Bakery?

NEXT CHAPTER! I am having the worst time updating 'Fate is Fickle'...... This is to pass the time!  
  
Disclaimer: No ownership is here.  
  
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When we last left off, P.A. had just saved Kenshin from Kaoru and also succeeded in the possible destruction of Japan..... Or the world....which ever.....  
  
P.A.: So Kenny, let's go see a little man about his sister! *turns and strides up to the front door*  
  
Kenshin: Why did you call me Kenny, Miss P.A.? *follows*  
  
P.A.: You look like a Kenny to me. You don't mind if I call you Kenny from now on do you?  
  
Kenshin: I do not mind, that I don't.  
  
P.A.: SUGOI! *rings doorbell repeatedly*  
  
Kurama: *opens door* Good day P.A.  
  
P.A.: HELLO KUR-OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL!?  
  
Kurama: *wearing only green silk boxers and a sock* What?  
  
Hiei: *comes to door in black boxers and an open button up shirt* Who is it, fox?  
  
P.A.: O_O  
  
Kenshin: *covers P.A.'s eyes* Do not look Miss P.A.  
  
Kurama: *looks at Hiei and then at himself* Oh dear....This is not what it looks like!  
  
P.A.: *with eyes still covered* Oh really? And what exactly does it not look like because I can't see at the moment. *sly grin*  
  
Hiei: O_o *drags them both inside*  
  
Kurama: IT ISN'T! REALLY!  
  
P.A.: *still can't see* Then what were you two doing?  
  
Hiei: Strip poker.  
  
P.A.: *pushes Kenshin's hand away* SAY WHAT?!  
  
Kenshin: He said they were playing strip poker, that he did.  
  
P.A.: *sarcastic* Thanks Kenny! What I mean is WHY?!  
  
Hiei: Bored. *sits next to coffee table and shuffles deck*  
  
Kurama: *sits down* Who is your friend?  
  
P.A.: This is Kenshin Himura. He is staying with me because he is being hunted by his psychotic landlord.  
  
Kurama: O_o You sure do make the most interesting of friends....  
  
Hiei: *about to deal cards* You want to be dealt in, Kenshin?  
  
Kenshin: *eyes flicker to amber* Sure. *sits*  
  
Kurama: What about you, P.A.? *eyes shine gold*  
  
P.A.: O_O No thanks! I actually came here to tell Hiei something.  
  
Hiei: *pauses in dealing* What did you want to tell me?  
  
P.A.: *opens mouth to say something then closes it* Ummm...I can't remember! *sweatdrop*  
  
Kurama: You'll remember eventually. In the mean time, I'll go make some tea. *moves to stand*  
  
P.A.: No, I will! *goes to kitchen*  
  
Kurama: Ok. *sits*  
  
Kenshin: *puts down cards* ROYAL FLUSH! ^_^  
  
Hiei and Kurama: O_O  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~IN THE KITCHEN!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
P.A.: What was it I wanted to tell Hiei....? *puts kettle on and turns on the radio on the table*  
  
Radio: //The top story today, A GIANT ROBOT IS TERRORIZING TOKYO! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR MEANINGLESS LIVES!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *ahem* In other news, the famous robber, Guy Whatshisface has finally been captured.//  
  
P.A.: It's about time too, the amateur..... *turns up volume*  
  
Radio: //He has been convicted eight times for bank robbery-//  
  
P.A.: He screwed that up big time too! You never let the leave the hostages unattended!  
  
Radio: //- twenty convictions of grand theft auto-//  
  
P.A.: If he were any good at it he wouldn't have gotten in that police chase the eleventh time!  
  
Radio: //- eleven counts of manslaughter and assault-//  
  
P.A.: ONLY ELEVEN!? COME ON!  
  
Radio: //-and thirty counts of breaking and entering.//  
  
P.A.: He failed to get anything ten of those times!  
  
Radio: // People are saying he is the greatest criminal mastermind that there ever was-//  
  
P.A.: WHAT?! *jumps up and knocks chair over*  
  
Radio: //Whatshisface is sentenced to the death penalty on Monday. Next, the weather!//  
  
P.A.: THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! *turns off radio and starts to pace*  
  
Kurama: *calling from the other room* Are you all right, P.A.?  
  
P.A.: *snaps at the kitchen door* I'M FINE! *resumes pacing*  
  
Kenshin: *comes in dressed in only his poofy dojo pants (AN: I have no idea what they are called!) and closes the kitchen door* What is the matter Miss P.A.?  
  
P.A.: Some idiot was just called the greatest criminal mastermind there ever was! HOW DARE THEY SAY HE IS BETTER THAN ME?! I'm a hundred times better than that asshole!!!  
  
Kenshin: *puts arms around her* Calm yourself, Miss P.A.  
  
P.A.: I'm a hundred times better than him....  
  
Kenshin: *pats her back* I know.  
  
P.A.: *jumps back and smiles brightly* I'm a hundred times better than him!!  
  
Kenshin: Oro?  
  
P.A.: *evil smile* I just gotta prove it to everyone....  
  
Kenshin: M-Miss P.A.?  
  
P.A.: *regular smile* Thanks for your support, Kenny! Now go play poker while I finish the tea! *pushes him out of the kitchen and leans against door* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *cough cough* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!  
  
Hiei: *from outside* Shut up and finish the tea!!!  
  
P.A.: FINE JERK! *goes to phone and dials*  
  
Person on other line: Hello! This is Happy Clown Bakery! May I take your order?  
  
P.A.: Perfect..... NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *hack cough hack* Damn....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~A HALF HOUR LATER*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
P.A.: *walks in with tea and a plate of cookies* Here is the te- OH GOD! MY VIRGIN EYES!  
  
All three guys: *wearing no clothing* Oops....  
  
P.A.: *closes eyes and sets tray on coffee table* Enjoy. *runs out*  
  
Kurama: *slips on boxers* I think its time for a new game, ne? *takes a cookie*  
  
Hiei: *puts on is boxers* Agreed. We best not traumatize P.A. anymore than necessary. *bites into a cookie*  
  
Kenshin: *gets dressed in his poofy dojo pants and takes a sip of tea* P.A. makes good tea, that she does.  
  
Kurama: *polishes off another cookie* Theses cookies are great! I wonder what kind they are.  
  
Hiei: *eats another* I don't know....Chocolate chip? No. Peanut butter? Not.  
  
Kurama: Snicker doodles? No way. Ginger snap? Can't be.  
  
P.A.: Actually....  
  
The kitchen door swings open to reveal P.A. in khaki cargo pants with two handguns on her belt, black fingerless gloves, combat boots, and a baby blue tank top. Her long blue hair is tied back in a ponytail and she has a smirk planted on her face. (AN: I have pictures of what P.A., Ceke, Cean, Tsuki, and Matt look like. If you want them, my e-mail is in my bio.)  
  
Kurama, Hiei, and Kenshin: O_O  
  
P.A.: Those cookies are the house special at Happy Clown Bakery. They are called Cookies of the Past Life! ^o^  
  
Kurama: *looks at the cookie in his hand* AHHHHHHHH!! *throws it across the room*  
  
Cookie: BOOM! *self destructs*  
  
Kenshin: o_o Oro?  
  
Hiei: *covers mouth and drops cookie* GOD NO!  
  
Cookie: MWAHAHAHA! VENGENCE! *flies out the window*  
  
Kenshin: O_O ORO!!!  
  
P.A.: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
Kurama: *starts to get surrounded by mist* P.A.!!! *engulfed in the mist*  
  
Hiei: *also being surrounded be mist* WHEN I GET *cough* MY HANDS *hack* ON YO- *gets cut off when the mist blocks him from view*  
  
Kenshin: ¬_¬ Miss P.A.? Explain.  
  
P.A.: *smiles and hugs Kenshin* It's all thanks to you Kenny!!  
  
Kenshin: O_O ME?!  
  
P.A.: *releases him* You made me realize that I AM a hundred times better than that idiot! *poses while dramatic music plays* I just got to show the world!  
  
??????: *chuckles* And how do you plan to do that?  
  
P.A.: *smirks* Kenny, meet our partner in crime, Youko Kurama.  
  
Youko Kurama: *steps out of the mist* It's an honor, I'm sure.  
  
P.A.: Youko, baby, you made it!  
  
Youko: Not really like I had a choice, huh?  
  
Kenshin: You are a demon, that you are. What happened to Kurama?  
  
P.A.: ........indisposed?  
  
Hiei: *high-pitched voice* BITCH! *steps up to her and comes to a grand total of 3' in height because of his....chibiness*  
  
P.A.: KAWAII! *huggles*  
  
Hiei: LET ME GO!  
  
P.A.: No.  
  
Hiei: *pout*  
  
Youko: So what is this grand plan of yours?  
  
P.A.: Shhh! *looks around* We cannot discuss it here. *jumps up* TO THE BAT CAVE! *runs out the door with chibi Hiei*  
  
Kenshin: -_- Let us follow her. *gets up and goes to the door*  
  
Youko: Why?  
  
Kenshin: *turns and gives him an exasperated look* In the two hours that I have known her, I have learned that she is a hazard to herself and others. *walks out door but calls back* But mostly to others. *sigh*  
  
Youko: *shrugs and strides after them*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
YOUKOS IN THE HOUSE! What is P.A.'s grand master plan? Who owns the bakery? (P.A.: That ones obvious!) DID KENSHIN REALLY KNOW P.A. TWO HOURS?! Find out on the next episode of .......TSUKI TAKES OVER!!!  
  
P.A.: *peace sign* R&R please! 


	4. WELCOME TO THE BAT CAVE!

Still having trouble on Fate is Fickle..... *pout*  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing... I wish I didn't have to keep repeating myself.  
  
ONWARD!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ok! Recap! P.A. has decided that she should have the title of The Greatest Criminal Mastermind, so she is drafting partners in her grand master plan.  
  
P.A.: *standing on the sidewalk holding a struggling chibi Hiei and looking crestfallen* I forgot something else.....  
  
Kenshin: *standing next to her* What Miss P.A.?  
  
P.A.: *sigh* We don't have a car....  
  
Youko: *winks at random girls causing them to faint* You drive?  
  
P.A.: Yes.  
  
Kenshin: But not well.  
  
P.A.: How am I gonna get to the Bat Cave without a car?!  
  
Kuwabara: *pulls up in his car and jumps out* DON'T DO IT P.A.! I CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING!!!  
  
P.A.: It's the baka....  
  
Kenshin: The one you were going to tell the little man about.....  
  
Youko: With a car....  
  
P.A., Youko, and Kenshin: *evil grin* (AN: OH NO! I'VE CORRUPTED KENSHIN!!)  
  
Kuwabara: *kneels in front of P.A.* PLEASE DON'T TELL THE SHRIMP! IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING!!  
  
Chibi Hiei: Tell me what?  
  
Kuwabara: *notices Hiei for the first time* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! *falls on the ground rolling with laughter*  
  
Youko, Kenshin, and P.A.: *slip over to his car and get in*  
  
Kuwabara: *gets up and notices they aren't in front of him* Where'd they go?  
  
Chibi Hiei: *leans out car window* SO LONG, BAKA!  
  
Kuwabara: HEY! THAT'S MY CAR!  
  
Youko: NOT ANYMORE!  
  
P.A.: *guns engine and drives away*  
  
Kuwabara: T_T My car....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~YUSUKE'S APARTMENT~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The others at Yusuke's apartment are still playing Twister. They have no idea what is going on with P.A. and her plans....  
  
Yusuke: I win again!  
  
Matt: You cheat!  
  
Yusuke: Do not.  
  
Matt: Do too.  
  
Yusuke: Do not.  
  
Matt: Do too.  
  
Yusuke: Do not.  
  
Matt: Do t-  
  
Ceke: OH MY GOD! LOOK AT THE NEWS!  
  
Now they do....  
  
News Anchor: // A giant pink robot is currently terrorizing downtown Tokyo. No one knows where this robot came from but it is ensuring the doom of us all. Japan is estimated to be destroyed in less than twenty-four hours and it is also estimated that none will survive this attack.//  
  
Cean: Doesn't that robot remind you of Tsuki's car?  
  
Matt and Ceke: *nod*  
  
News Anchor: //On a more happier note, a police chase in the suburbs is in action. *video clip shows car flying through the streets being tailed by 15 police cars. A high-pitched 'WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' is heard in the backround* This car has been reported stolen by its owner, Kuwabara Kazuma. He claims that a young girl, a fox demon, a small child, and a samurai are the thieves.//  
  
Yusuke: A young girl, a fox demon, a small child, and a samurai.... Is Kuwabara on drugs?  
  
Ceke: Donno.  
  
Outside they hear sirens and the screeching of tires. They sit there with clueless faces and hear car doors slam, gunshots, a cry of "YOU GUYS CAN'T SHOOT WORTH SHIT!" and footsteps coming up the stairs. P.A., Youko, Kenshin, and chibi Hiei fly into the room, slam and lock the door.  
  
Kenshin: I believe they are angry with us, that I do.  
  
Youko: I haven't had this much fun in years!  
  
P.A.: Told you they wouldn't catch us!  
  
Hiei: Sweet snow now?  
  
P.A.: Yes Hiei, sweet snow now.  
  
Hiei: o^_^o SWEET SNOW!  
  
Cean: I guess this proves the baka isn't on drugs....  
  
Ceke: What's up?  
  
P.A.: No time to explain! Here take Hiei! *hands Matt Hiei*  
  
Matt: *looks at Hiei then at Youko* You called the Happy Clown Bakery again, didn't you?  
  
P.A.:........No?  
  
Kenshin: *looks out the peephole* The police are coming down the hallway, Miss P.A.  
  
Youko: Let them come! *reaches for Death Tree seed*  
  
P.A.: Not yet Youko!!  
  
Youko: *pouts and puts his hand down*  
  
Yusuke: Are you responsible for that giant robot thing?  
  
P.A.:........No?  
  
Kenshin: We need to leave now!  
  
P.A.: Quick! Into the bedroom! *runs into it followed by Youko and Kenshin*  
  
Police: *banging door* OPEN UP!  
  
Yusuke: *opens door* Can I help you?  
  
Police: *barge in* Where are they?!  
  
Hiei: In the bedroom.  
  
P.A.: *leans out bedroom door* HIEI YOU TRAITOR! *goes back in*  
  
Police: *run in the bedroom after her* There is no one in here. *they come back out* They aren't here!  
  
And they weren't.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~AT P.A.'S ROOM! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
P.A.'s room is large. You could fit Kurama's whole house in it. The room is full of electronic stuff like stereos, plasma screen TVs, and computers. There is also a large, circular pit about three feet deep full of pillows and blankets in the middle of the room that served as a bed. A large thump is heard from the inside of the closet.  
  
P.A.: *opens closet door and walks out* WELCOME TO THE BAT CAVE! Please take with you all carry-on baggage and make sure your seats and trays are in the upright position!  
  
Kenshin: *groans* What a trip....  
  
P.A.: Thank god I put that emergency escape portal to my room under Yusuke's bed. And Tsuki said that it was pointless! HA!  
  
Youko: *brushes himself off* Does Yusuke know about it?  
  
P.A.: Of course not! He's a pervert! What do you think his first priority would be if he knew I had a link between our bedrooms?!  
  
Youko: Exactly what I would do?  
  
P.A.: -_- Yes Youko. Exactly what you would do.  
  
Kenshin: *walks out slightly green and holding his stomach* Miss P.A....  
  
P.A.: O_O NOT HERE! *pushes him into her bathroom*  
  
Kenshin: It is quite spacious in here, that it is.  
  
P.A.: And yet it's too small......  
  
Kenshin: *gags and runs to toilet*  
  
P.A.: *winces and walks out* I don't want to watch.....  
  
Youko: *sitting in pit bed* So what now, oh brilliant leader?  
  
P.A.: *jumps into the pit* Well, we need a new car becau-  
  
Youko: *interrupts* Let me guess. We need a new car because you only had one car and it belonged to Tsuki.  
  
P.A.: *sweatdrop* Yeah.  
  
Kenshin: *comes out of the bathroom looking much better* And that car is destroying Tokyo, that it is. *sits cross-legged in the bed with them*  
  
P.A.: So we need a new car.  
  
Youko: And how do you expect us to get one now that we are wanted men?  
  
P.A.: *ahem*  
  
Kenshin: What he meant to say is how do you expect us to get a car if we are wanted men and woman.  
  
P.A.: Thanks Kenny. I have a plan for that.  
  
Youko: What?  
  
P.A.: We are going to buy the perfect car!  
  
Kenshin: We still have a problem though, Miss P.A.  
  
P.A.: That's why we are going to buy it at a discount.  
  
Youko: What kind of discount.  
  
P.A.: Ummmmmmmmmm....a five-finger discount.  
  
Youko: *grins* NOW we're talkin'!  
  
Kenshin: Where are we going to get the perfect car?  
  
P.A.: *sly grin* I need to go get something from the kitchen first. Then I'll tell you everything! *gets up and walks to door* Don't worry about a thing! I have everything under control! You two just stay here and develop a criminal-to-criminal type bond......thing.  
  
Youko and Kenshin: O_o  
  
P.A.: *skips down the hallway whistling the Harry potter theme*  
  
Youko: I have a feeling I know where we're going..... 


	5. THE MANATEE!

NEW CHAPPY!  
  
AN: NINE DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS! I can't wait! HAPPY *Insert Holiday* TOO YOU ALL!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nada, nothing, zilch.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Last time on 'Tsuki Takes Over', the trio finally made it to the Bat Cave. P.A. went to the kitchen and hasn't come back for a while, leaving the other two to form a criminal-to-criminal type bond.....thing.  
  
Kenshin: And that is why I am a wanderer. I swore to always protect those who cannot protect themselves, that I have.  
  
Youko: That's to weak hearted for me. I was the most notorious thief in all three worlds!  
  
P.A.: *kicks open door* AND the biggest slut too!  
  
Youko: *sticks his tongue out at her*  
  
P.A. stumbles in carrying in her arms many bags of chips, a few brown paper bags, markers, dip and salsa for the chips, candy bars, sodas, and a bowl of popcorn balanced on her head.  
  
P.A.: *stumbles to the bed* A little help here?  
  
Youko: Serves you right.  
  
Kenshin: *jumps out of bed and takes some of the stuff in her arms* Here you go, Miss P.A. *climbs back into the bed*  
  
P.A.: Thanks Kenny. *jumps into the bed and opens a Mountain Dew*  
  
Youko: *opens a bag of Doritos* What's the plan, P.A.?  
  
P.A.: Getting to that! Hold it sec! *reaches under blankets and pulls out remote* Would you please turn your attention to the screen please.  
  
Youko and Kenshin: *look at screen as a picture pops up*  
  
P.A.: Men! This is our destination.  
  
Kenshin: *chokes on popcorn* WE'RE GOING TO ENGLAND?!  
  
Youko: *sigh* I knew it....... *continues to eat Doritos* Mmmmm. These are good.  
  
P.A.: The information we need on the car's whereabouts is approximately here. *little arrow pops up on screen pointing at a place on the map* We need to go there and get it.  
  
Youko: Hold it! You don't even know where the car is?!  
  
P.A.: *opens a Snickers* I know WHERE it is..... Just not how to get there.  
  
Kenshin: *sips his Sprite* And the people who do are where the arrow is pointing?  
  
P.A.: Exactly! Once they tell us how to get to the car we are as good as gold!  
  
Youko: *looking for another Doritos bag* So how are we getting there?  
  
P.A.: Well.....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ONE HOUR LATER!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Youko: NO! NO WAY IN THE SEVEN HELLS OF HADES!  
  
P.A.: *standing next to him in front of the airport* AW COME ON! It won't be bad!  
  
Youko: *eyes her warily* Promise?  
  
P.A.: MHM! I'll hold you hand the whole time!  
  
Kenshin: *holds back laughter* Do you think our disguises are good?  
  
P.A.: Yep! No one at this airport will know who we are because of the costume's genius!  
  
Youko: GENIUS MY ASS!  
  
The trio is dressed in their normal clothes, P.A. still in her outfit from Kurama's minus the guns, but they are wearing paper bags on their heads. P.A.'s has a big smiley face on it in rainbow colors with a hole in the back for her ponytail. Youko has a bag on his head with a scowling face on it and holes in the top for his ears to poke out. Kenshin has a bag with a swirly-eyed face drawn on it and a hole in the back for his ponytail. They are each holding a small bag of belongings.  
  
Kenshin: I think they are cute, that I do.  
  
P.A.: SEE!  
  
Youko: *grumble* Let's just get this over with....  
  
They walk in and go to the ticket counter. They stop in front of what appears to be the woman who is in charge.  
  
Kenshin: Excuse me, Miss?  
  
Miss Ticket Lady Sir: *looks up from computer and says in a very masculine voice* Hello.  
  
P.A., Kenshin, Youko: O_O  
  
Miss Ticket Lady Sir: *looks at them suspiciously* Welcome to Death Trap Flights. What can I do you for?  
  
Youko: Well we ne-  
  
P.A.: *in a childish voice* It's my daddy's honeymoon! *cute smile*  
  
Kenshin and Youko: O_O *look at each other in horror*  
  
Miss Ticket Lady Sir: *forgets any suspicious thoughts* AWWW!! That's so CUTE! So you two are a homosexual couple? *motions to the stunned 'couple'*  
  
P.A.: *nods happily* MHM! They just got married and now they want to go to London for the honeymoon!  
  
Miss Ticket Lady Sir: THAT'S SO CUTE!  
  
By now, half the airport was looking at the trio in curiosity.  
  
Miss Ticket Lady Sir: Why are you going with them?  
  
P.A.: *sniffle* Well..... I was abused as a child and abandoned to live on the streets. *sappy violin music plays in background with fake snow falling* I lived off garbage, stolen food, and squirrels. But then, when I was about to give up, they found me on the brink of death. They were my angels from heaven, Miss. They fixed me up with best they could with bandages, super glue, and a wad of gum. I am a very emotional child. *fake cute cough* They can't bear to leave me with our alcoholic neighbors, who gave me.... gave me.... *tears fall down face*  
  
Miss Ticket Lady Sir: *tearing up* Gave you what, child?  
  
P.A.: They gave me..... A RASH! *starts to cry uncontrollably* IT WAS THE MANATEE! THE MANATEE!  
  
Youko and Kenshin: O_O  
  
By now, half the airport is crying over the sound of P.A.'s cries of "THE MANATEE!"  
  
Miss Ticket Lady Sir: *tears running down face* YOU POOR CHILD! I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE WITH SUCH HARDSHIPS!  
  
Kenshin and Youko: You've gotta be kidding me.....  
  
P.A.: It was tough, but my wonderful daddies helped me so much! *hugs Kenshin and Youko*  
  
People in airport and ticket lady: *big collective 'Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww'*  
  
P.A.: So can we buy three tickets to London please?  
  
Miss Ticket Lady Sir: *wiping eyes* Ok, that will be seven hundred dollars.  
  
P.A.: *smiles brightly and turns to Youko* You hear that Daddy?! I will only have to sell one of my kidneys!  
  
Miss Ticket Lady Sir: *breaks down crying again* Never mind! *hands them tickets* You can have these tickets for free.  
  
Kenshin: Really, Miss?  
  
Miss Ticket Lady Sir: *nods eagerly* Oh yes! Anyone who has been through what you have deserves them! Your flight leaves in an hour. Gate 26.  
  
P.A.: THANK YOU! *they turn and leave*  
  
Youko: *when they are out of earshot* That was absolute genius!  
  
Kenshin: Where did you learn to tell such a story?  
  
P.A.: I donno. I made that up on the spot. *looks at tickets and whistles* She gave us first class seats too!  
  
Youko: *pats the top of her bag* First class seats for a first class lie.  
  
P.A.: Daddies, shall we be off to our gate?  
  
They head off to Gate 26 and to their adventure in England.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*AT YUSUKE'S~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yusuke: *feeding Chibi Hiei ice cream while watching the news* Wow. Look at that robot go.  
  
Ceke: *sigh* Why should P.A. get to have all the fun? We should do something too.  
  
Cean: Like what?  
  
Matt: Find out what else is on? *changes channel and it is the Teletubbies* Oh great!  
  
Hiei: What are those things? *watches the theme song* They can't even talk!  
  
Ceke: Did you ever notice that they DON'T ever say anything?  
  
Cean: Mhm. I wonder why?  
  
Hiei: Why don't you find out?  
  
Yusuke: *grin* Can you say road trip?!  
  
Matt, Ceke, and Cean: *matching evil grins* ROAD TRIP!  
  
Yusuke: *jumps up holding Hiei* LET'S GO!  
  
Ceke, Cean, and Matt: *jump up* YEAH!  
  
Hiei: Where are you fools going to get a car?  
  
Ceke, Matt, Cean, and Yusuke: Oh yeah..... *sigh in defeat*  
  
Hiei: *sighs and says in a monotone voice* There is a cheap car rental agency down the road.  
  
Yusuke: WE ARE SO OUTTA HERE!  
  
Ceke: Thanks Hiei!  
  
Matt: I'll buy you an ice cream!  
  
Hiei: o^_^o SWEET SNOW!  
  
Cean: What are we standin' here for?! LET'S GO!  
  
And so yet another adventure has spawned. Two different groups with two different purposes. Looks like there might be a plot after all.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
So....what will become of the two groups? Will they accomplish their tasks? Will they make new friend along the way? WILL WE FIND OUT WHY THE TELETUBBIES CAN'T TALK?! Find out next time on 'Tsuki Takes Over'!!!!!!!  
  
P.A.: And don't forget to click the little 'GO' button and leave me a nice review!! 


	6. TELECUSTARD!

WOOT! UPDATING! I have exams coming so I'll try to update everything as soon as I can! There is actually going to be a plot! WOOTNESSNESSNESSISHFULNESS!  
  
Disclaimer: I no own anything! I only own my crew! Except Tsuki....she owns herself....BUT I DO OWN MATT!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
And so the madness continues! The three fugitives are currently waiting to board the plane.  
  
Youko: *glares at another person who passed* If one more person gives me that oh-I-feel-so-terrible-for-your-hardships-that-I-think-I'll-cry-right- now look I swear I'm going to kill everyone in this airport.  
  
P.A.: *playing gameboy, listening to music, and reading a book* But mother-  
  
Youko: Father. I'm your father.  
  
P.A.: But father....we need to get to London. Then you can kil-*coughs as people walk by* kill as many people as you want.  
  
Youko: *smirk*  
  
Kenshin: *reading a magazine with Orlando Bloom in it* Should we really be doing this?  
  
P.A.: OF COURSE! *jumps onto back of chair and poses* WE NEED TO PROVE OURSELVES TO THE WORLD!  
  
Random Old Couple: O_O  
  
P.A.: *glares at them* WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?! HUH?! DO YOU WANNA GO?! DO YA?! DO YA?! DO YA?! COME ON! LET'S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE! I CAN TAKE YA!  
  
Random Old Couple: O_O *run away*  
  
P.A.: *chases old people* OH NO YOU DON'T! COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT! *tackles old people*  
  
Kenshin: Shouldn't one of us go stop her?  
  
Youko: *reading a book* She can handle it.  
  
P.A.: *being taken away by security* MOTHER! HELP ME MOTHER! AHHHHH!  
  
Youko: *turns a page* Our kid is calling you, dear. *snicker*  
  
Kenshin: *glares at Youko*  
  
P.A.: MOM! PULL OUT YOUR SWORD! HELP!  
  
Security: O_O *look at Kenshin* TERRORIST! *tackle him*  
  
Kenshin: ORO!  
  
Youko: *yawns and turns a page*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ONE HOUR LATER!!!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kenshin: *sitting in the plane* It took you long enough to help....  
  
Youko: *sitting next to him* It was entertaining.  
  
P.A.: *in a British accent* Why didn't you pull out your sword, mum? *is in window seat*  
  
Kenshin: *twitch* I'm not your mother. Anyway, I didn't bring it.  
  
P.A.: Well if I had a sword I could of taken them all by myself! *scowls* But noooooo.... you won't get me a sword!  
  
Youko: You never asked us for one.  
  
P.A.: Yes I did! I asked you my whole bloody life for a sword! But you always put it off or said, "No. You can't have a sword. Only men should have swords." You men and your bloody swords.  
  
Youko: I've only been here for a few hours! You couldn't have asked me!  
  
P.A.: I did, da! I asked you when we were walking near the hospital! You said, "No. You can't have a sword because they can be dangerous!" Then I asked you again when I saw one in the window of that shop!  
  
Youko: What shop?  
  
P.A.: The one with the bloody little china figurines! There was a kitty, a bird, and a little tiny doggie! I asked you for one of them too but you said no.  
  
Youko: Are you sure this was me?  
  
P.A.: Bloody 'ell, da! Of course it was you! You were righ-*blinks* No wait... It wasn't you at all. Sorry. Got you confused with my dear Aunt Gertrude. Lovely woman she is.  
  
Youko: *twitches* Why you godda-  
  
Kenshin: YOUKO! *covers P.A.'s ears* Not in front of our child!  
  
Youko: *glares* NOW DON'T YOU EVEN START, SAMURAI!  
  
Kenshin: *smirk* Ok, honey. *takes his hands off P.A.'s ears and pulls out the magazine from before*  
  
Youko: *eyebrow twitches* I am going to kill you....  
  
Kenshin: Mmhm. Sure, honey. *snickers*  
  
Youko: *glares at seat in front of them* I hate you both.  
  
P.A. and Kenshin: We love you too.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~IT'S NOT OVER YET!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Somewhere over the rainbow where bluebirds fly, fifty miles into the west from Middle Earth, and right next to Jhoto where you gotta catch them all, there is a place. A place happy and full of joy. A place full of bunny rabbits and rolling hills spotted with flowers. A place with a giant baby- faced sun. Yes people. Teletubbie land. At this moment, five strangers were there to accomplish the impossible. They were here to find out why the hell the Teletubbies can't talk!  
  
Ceke: I don't see them! *looks around in binoculars*  
  
Cean: *leaning against car* They are always on TV when we don't want to see them and now when we need them they don't show!  
  
Yusuke: *blowing up rabbits with his Spirit Gun*  
  
Chibi Hiei: *hyperventilating on the ground* Too much happy. Too much happy. Too much happy.  
  
Matt: I have an idea!  
  
Everyone else: MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!  
  
Matt: SHUT IT! *stomps out into the middle of the field and sings* It's Teletubbie time!  
  
Everyone: o_o  
  
Matt: Tinky-Winky!  
  
Tinky-Winky: *pops up and waves*  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Yusuke: *evil smirk*  
  
Matt: Dipsy!  
  
Dipsy: Mewwo. *waves*  
  
Matt: La-La!  
  
La-La: Wawa.  
  
Matt: Poh!  
  
Poh: *jumps up and is about to wave before he explodes*  
  
Everyone: ._.  
  
Yusuke: *holding up a smoking finger* More freaks! More freaks! *scowls and points finger at Matt* More freaks!  
  
Matt: O________O  
  
Teletubbies (P.A.: Or what's left of them.....): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *run in different directions*  
  
Yusuke: DAMNIT! COME BACK HERE!  
  
Cean: LET'S HUNT 'EM DOWN!  
  
Ceke: *poking Poh's body* He's oozing something.... *looks at some white fluffy stuff on her finger* Looks like whipped cream.  
  
Chibi Hiei: *walks over* What is it?  
  
Yusuke: *touches some and puts it in his mouth*  
  
Everyone: *turn green*  
  
Yusuke: *eyes brighten* That tastes great! *eats more* Like sugar or something!  
  
Matt: *tastes some* Like custard.  
  
Yusuke: I'll call it Telecustard!  
  
Chibi Hiei: _ Good for you.... *goes back to the car*  
  
Matt: We have to hunt them down now!  
  
Cean: We must know the truth!  
  
Ceke: Yusuke's right. This stuff isn't bad. *eats some more*  
  
Cean and Matt: *sweatdrop* Let's go Ceke.....  
  
And so Cean went after Tinky-Winky, Matt went after Dipsy, and Ceke reluctantly went after La-La. Yusuke stayed behind to eat Telecustard and watch after Hiei. Hiei just stayed because he didn't care what happened.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
P.A.: Done!  
  
Tsuki: You take so long.....  
  
P.A.: School is in the way a lot.  
  
Ceke: Fate is Fickle is next!  
  
Matt: Updating spree continues!  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Kurama: R&R!  
  
Cean: COME BACK LATER! 


	7. There are no such thing as pirates!

P.A.: Ok.... How long has it been since I updated?  
  
Hiei: Few months I think.  
  
P.A.: GAH! I can't believe I did that!  
  
Kurama: Again....  
  
P.A.: -.- Oh be quiet. ONWARD!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own YYH.  
  
AN: I am really, really, really, really, really, really, really SORRY! I didn't mean to make this story look dead. O.O OMG! I just really looked at it and I haven't updated in FOUR MONTHES! X.X  
  
AAN: Because of FF.net's new layout I had to change how actions are: =ACTION=  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
When we last left the story, P.A., Kenshin, and Youko were on the plane. Now let's see what their up too!  
  
P.A.: =screaming and shaking in her seat= WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! SAVE THE FEMALE CHILDREN FIRST! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Youko: P.A.....  
  
P.A.: =waving arms around= AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Youko: P.A.!  
  
P.A.: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Youko: =screams= P.A.!!!!!!  
  
P.A.: =calmly= Yes, Dad?  
  
Youko: =fuming= We haven't even taken off yet!  
  
P.A.: Really? =looks out window to discover they are still waiting for clearance=.......Oh. OK! -  
  
Youko: =tries to get strangle her but Kenshin holds him back= WHY YOU....!  
  
Kenshin: =suddenly glad he sat between them= Youko! She's only playing!  
  
Then suddenly, the plane got clearance and the engine started.  
  
P.A.: o.o AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!! THE PLANE'S GONNA GO UP IN FLAMES! =jumps out into aisle and hits little concession cart=............ =spaz=  
  
Youko: =gives Kenshin a sidelong look= Just playing, huh?  
  
Kenshin: =nervous laugh=  
  
Youko: =slouches down in seat= Let's just get this straight between us. She more like your side of the family.  
  
Kenshin: HEY!  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%TELETUBBIE!%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
Cean: Why did I get stuck chasing the gay one..... =stops and looks around=  
  
Field: =empty except for rabbits=  
  
Cean: What the heck?! We're in a huge empty plain and that stupid thing disappeared into thin air!  
  
???: That's because he's a teletubbie, man!  
  
Cean: =blinks and looks around= Who are you?  
  
???: Not up there, man! You gotta look down!  
  
Cean: =looks down= You gotta be kidding me.....  
  
Bunny: =wearing a tie-dye headband and sunglasses= That's right, man! I'm a rabbit! But I'm not just any rabbit, man! I'm governor Grover Cleveland trapped in the body of an emu! =nibbles grass=  
  
Cean: o.O What kind of grass are you chewing?!  
  
Bunny: That's not important, man! What's important is you finding that teletubie!  
  
Cean: Oh yeah! What were you saying about him before? =kneels down=  
  
Bunny: Well, he's a teletubbie, man! They have these like whacked out powers, man! It's far out! They just.... Disappear whenever they want to, man!  
  
Cean: Wow... I wish I could do that...  
  
Bunny: Well they're just plain evil, man! They're allied with The Man, man!  
  
Cean: Who's The Man?  
  
Bunny: It's not a person! It's the government, man! The government controls us all, man! We can't escape it!  
  
Cean: =sits down on the ground looking interested= Do tell.  
  
Bunny: The government is running this country into the ground, man! With all their wars and taxes and indoor plumbing! They us high tech television propaganda to corrupt our children and spread their twisted ways, man!  
  
Cean: That's horrible!  
  
Bunny: You said it, man! =points= AHHHHHHHH! It's The Man, man! =hops down a bunny hole=  
  
Cean: =turns and looks=  
  
Tinky-Winky: =came out because he thought it was safe= o.o  
  
Cean: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! =tackles and starts mauling him=  
  
Bunny: =comes out= Wow, man! You're like super powerful!  
  
Cean: =peace sign= PEACE AND LOVE!  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Plane ride from HELL!%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
P.A.: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......eeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....  
  
Youko: =twitching= How long has she been running up and down the aisles......?  
  
Kenshin: =shrugs and reads a magazine=  
  
Youko:............ THAT'S IT! =grabs P.A. and stomps over to cabin door=  
  
Flight Attendant: SIR! Please return to your seat!  
  
Youko: =evil death glare=  
  
Flight Attendant: O.O  
  
Youko: =throws open cabin door and throws her out and tosses a parachute out as well before closing it=  
  
Kenshin: o.o =drops magazine=  
  
People on Plane: =cheer happily=  
  
Youko: . =sits back down=  
  
Kenshin: Y-you killed P.A.!!!!  
  
Youko: . I know!  
  
At that moment the engine gave a great lurch and died, sending the plane into a nosedive.  
  
Pilot: =over speaker= This is your captain speaking. It appears that something is lodged in our engine and we are now plummeting toward the ocean where the plane will most likely break apart into tiny pieces before bursting into flames. If you make it out without roasting alive then the other survivors' wounds will attract sharks to devour you or rip apart your body. Those of you who survive that will have to float out here for many days before someone comes by and removes our dead corpses from the water. Thank you for flying Death Trap Flights. Have a nice day.  
  
People on plane: ............... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! =panic=  
  
Youko and Kenshin: =look at each other= You don't think..... =look out window=  
  
P.A.: GUYS? GUYS!!! HELP ME OUT HERE! =holding onto launched parachute which is stuck in engine=  
  
Youko: DON'T YOU EVER DIE?!  
  
Kenshin: =grabs Youko= Not the time for this! WE'RE GOING TO DIE! =runs to cabin door, pushes flight attendant away and steals her parachute=  
  
Flight Attendant: HEY!  
  
Kenshin: =straps parachute on, opens cabin door and jumps out with Youko=  
  
P.A.: WEEEEE! =lets go of her parachute and latches onto Kenshin=  
  
Youko: =sighs= I told you we shouldn't have gone on a plane......  
  
Plane: =flies a few hundred feet away into the ocean and explodes=  
  
P.A.: LOOK! FIREWORKS!  
  
Youko:........ =lets go of Kenshin to drop the remaining three hundred feet=  
  
Kenshin: YOUKO! =grabs him= Suicide is not the answer!  
  
Youko: T.T But she's driving me crazy! =sobs into Kenshin's shoulder=  
  
Kenshin: =eye twitch=.........=twitch=  
  
P.A.: Look on the bright side!  
  
Youko: The only bright side is the half of the ocean on fire! =points at flaming plane=  
  
P.A.: =ignores him= I still have the complemental magazine from the plane with the article on Pirates of the Caribbean! =shows Kenshin= LOOK!  
  
Kenshin: YES! =snatches it and starts reading=  
  
P.A.: .  
  
Youko: T.T  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Wow that was screwed up%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
Matt: =skipping through the fields singing= I'm a-hunting the freaks. Hunting, hunting. Gonna kill the freaks. Kill them, kill them. =trips and falls= OW!  
  
Bunny: Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! T.T You tripped on meeeeeee......  
  
Matt: =blinks=........  
  
Bunny:...... Quwee quwee.....  
  
Matt: AWESOME!  
  
Bunny: What's wrong with youuuuuu? You act weeeeeiiiiirrddd.....  
  
Matt: You said QUWEE QUWEE!  
  
Bunny: Annnnnnd?  
  
Matt: =chibi eyes and tears= My deceased guinea pig said quwee quwee!  
  
Bunny: =blink blink= You're craaaazyyyyy!  
  
Matt: You know what the Spanish word for guinea pig is?  
  
Bunny: Whaaaaaat?  
  
Mtt: EL QUWEE QUWEE! =bursts into tears=  
  
Bunny: T.T Scarey maaaaannnn!  
  
Dipsy: =comes up behind Matt= Wha?  
  
Matt: =can't hear him=  
  
Dipsy: Wha!  
  
Matt: =sob sob tear tear=  
  
Dipsy: -.-# WHA DAMNIT!  
  
Matt: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! =jumps to his feet and whirls around= o.o  
  
Dipsy: Wha! =waves happily=  
  
Matt: O.O =thinks Dipsy is his guinea pig= PIGGY?!  
  
Dipsy: Wha?  
  
Matt: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN HELL! =pulls out a mallet= GET BACK THERE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!  
  
Dipsy: o.o WHA!  
  
Matt: =starts beating Dipsy with the mallet=  
  
Dipsy: X.X  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%God take me now%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
Youko: How long have we been floating here.....?  
  
P.A.: I donno. A few hours?  
  
Youko: I wanna go home!  
  
Kenshin: My magazine is getting soggy.....  
  
P.A.: LOOK A SHIP! =points to a ship on the horizon heading toward them=  
  
Youko: No way! What if it's pirates?!  
  
P.A.: There are no pirates in these years, Youko! Geez! The pnly pirates you'll ever see are those ones arrested for stealing music off the internet!  
  
The ship passes by and they see it's one of those authentic sailing ships from the old times. A rope is thrown over the side and the three scramble up it.  
  
P.A.: =sitting on deck= Thanks a lot for that! =blinks= Oh my god......  
  
Youko: HA! I told you it was pirates!  
  
Kenshin: O.O YOU'RE CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!  
  
Jack Sparrow: =smirks= You got that right, mate. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl!  
  
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%  
  
P.A.: Oh yes... NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Kurama and Hiei: o.o  
  
P.A.: NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Kurama: R&R please! We apologize for the lack of updates!  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
P.A.: This chapter is dedicated to Piggy, Matt's beloved pet guinea pig. He said quwee quwee...... all the time..... 


	8. It's bad luck to have a woman aboard

P.A.: This is the weirdest thing I've EVER written..... Besides that Christmas special.....  
  
Kurama: Or that one about me and my dream boy....  
  
Hiei: Actually all your fanfics are weird.  
  
P.A.: True.... ONWARD!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't anything. Not POTC, RK, YYH, keeps listing  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
When we last left off, our trio of convicts just boarded the infamous Black Pearl.  
  
Kenshin: I can't believe it! It's THE Jack Sparrow!  
  
Jack: Captain Jack Sparrow if you will.  
  
P.A.: o.o You're JACK SPARROW!  
  
Jack: CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow.  
  
Youko: Who's Jack Sparrow?  
  
Jack: CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!  
  
P.A.: You don't know who Jack Sparrow is?! He's he greatest pirate threat in the Caribbean!  
  
Jack: Well if you aren't going to get my name right I'm throwing you back overboard, savvy?  
  
The Three: o.o Yes, Captain Sparrow.  
  
Jack: Good.  
  
Kenshin: I can't believe I'm on the _Black Pearl_! This is one of my favorite movies! Is Will Turner here?!  
  
Youko: -.-  
  
Jack: raises an eyebrow You know Will?  
  
Kenshin: rolls eyes Everyone knows Will Turner.  
  
Jack: Well... OI! WILL!  
  
Will: comes up from below deck and blinks at the three Jack... I thought you didn't take prisoners.  
  
Jack: Well... I saw that pretty young lass in the water and I couldn't just leave her there, savvy? winks at P.A.   
  
P.A.: -.- I believe I am now the prey of Jack Sparrow...  
  
Jack: points his gun at her   
  
P.A.: o.o I mean Captain Jack Sparrow...  
  
Youko: whispers So now what do we do?  
  
P.A.: eyes their weapons and thinks for a second before standing Everyone remain calm. We are taking over the ship!  
  
Youko: WHAT?!  
  
Kenshin: jumps up AYE! AVAST!  
  
Both: Heeheehee....  
  
P.A.: We should trade lines sometime.  
  
Kenshin: That would be entertaining, that it would!  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&COMPUTER ROOM&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Tsuki: Oh...my god... I TURNED KENSHIN INTO A FANBOY!  
  
Computer: Shut yo mouth, girl! That boy sure is phat with da PH!  
  
Tsuki: I have a cola and I know how to use it.  
  
Computer: Well I have your story and I know how to delete! Bring it on, biotch!  
  
Tsuki: I hate technology... -.-  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&BACK TO THE STORY!&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Pirates: raise eyebrow   
  
Jack: claps his hands Well then! Crew! Take the two gents to the brig and escort the lady to my quarters.  
  
Youko: whispers to P.A. again Even though I hate you to death I still can't let you go alone!  
  
P.A.: Relax.... I've seen POTC fifty times. I know how to handle him. follows Will to Jack's quarters   
  
Kenshin: BAKA! hits Youko with his sword You just let our child go to a womanizing pirate ALONE!  
  
Jack: She's your child now? Well I assure you I'll take good care of her. smirks and waltzes off to after Will and P.A.   
  
Youko and Kenshin: get thrown in the brig .........  
  
Youko: You know we can easily get out of here, right?  
  
Kenshin: Yes.  
  
Youko:....I guess we can give her five minutes.  
  
Kenshin: glare If ANYTHING happens to her I'll skin you alive with my reverse blade.  
  
Youko: o.O You can't do that....  
  
Kenshin: Oh yes I can. It'll just hurt more.  
  
Youko: O.O  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&In The Captain's Quarters&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
P.A.: So... Will, right? smiles innocently   
  
Will: blinks Yes....  
  
P.A.: So do you like being a pirate?  
  
Will: It's in my blood. I can't help but enjoy it.  
  
Jack: Ok, Will! You can leave now! starts pushing Will out   
  
Will: Jack! I don't think you should do it! She's only a child!  
  
P.A.: coughcough .............TEENAGER!.......... coughcoughHACKCOUGHCHOKEDIE   
  
Jack: Oh go man the helm! pushes him out and locks door   
  
P.A.: on floor in dramatic death pose with a lily clutched in her hands   
  
Jack:......... You alright, luv?  
  
P.A.: pops up with ridiculously large eyes I'm just dandy! sparkle sparkle  
  
Jack: .........  
  
P.A.:......... RAWR!  
  
Jack: jumps back a few feet They don't make women like this in Tortuga....  
  
P.A.: blink....blink OH! You mean the dandy statement and the roaring? That was just the lobster hitting my lower intestines!  
  
Jack: Lobster...?  
  
P.A.: OH! YEAH! It was on the airplane!  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&FLASHBACK-BACK-Back-back&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Flight Attendant: So what meal would you like? Today we have Lobster or Steak.  
  
Youko: I'll have the-  
  
P.A.: You better not choose lobster.  
  
Youko: Why?  
  
P.A.: They stare at you the whole meal. Just staring..... starts staring at Youko creepily Staring.... Staring... You never know if they're dead and cooked to perfection..... or waiting to rip out your jugular...  
  
Youko: Errr.... I'll have the steak then.  
  
Flight Attendant: blinks at P.A. Ok... For you, sir?  
  
Kenshin: I would like to have the steak as well, that I would.  
  
Flight Attendant: Do you want steak too, little girl?  
  
P.A.: Nah. I'll have the lobster.  
  
Youko: tries to strangle P.A. again but Kenshin holds him back   
  
P.A.: smiles   
  
Flight Attendant: o.o I'll be back soon with your meal. runs off   
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&End of FLASHBACK-BACK-Back-back&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
P.A.: sitting comfortably on the bed while Jack sits in a chair And that's why I find myself manipulative. I think it comes with my undeniable cuteness! sparkle sparkle   
  
Jack: Well yes it worked on that one lad, but can it work on someone else?  
  
P.A.: Is that a challenge?  
  
Jack: Of course.  
  
P.A.: Name your person.  
  
Jack: I want you to get Will Turner to do something that I would do.  
  
P.A.: Ok. If I win I get to be Captain of the Black Pearl until we dock in England.  
  
Jack: I have no problem with that because you won't win. When you lose you have to be my servant woman for the entire trip to England. You must do everything I ask without complaint, savvy?  
  
P.A.: grimace Well I'm never one to decline such a challenge of skill. Done deal. gets up and walks out Ok.... I need to think of something to get that man to do something completely uncivilized.... I GOT IT! runs to the helm   
  
Will: Are you alright, miss?  
  
P.A.: Just fine. Jack and I had a talk and we had a small, teeny, tiny argument.  
  
Will: About?  
  
P.A.: Well he said you're a complete pansy who couldn't drink enough rum to fill a thimble before getting stone drunk and I tried to defend you but he wouldn't listen. sigh   
  
Will: scowl Is that so?  
  
P.A.: Yeah.  
  
Will: GIBBS!  
  
Gibbs: Aye?  
  
Will: Man the helm for me.  
  
Gibbs: Aye, Will. sees P.A. It's bad luck to have a woman aboard.  
  
P.A.: -.- Yeah sure whatever.....  
  
Will: storms down to Jack's cabin JACK!  
  
P.A.: follows Heehee! Every man's weak point is their honor.  
  
Jack: standing in the doorway Aye, Will?  
  
Will: I challenge you to a drinking contest!  
  
Jack: o.o You what?  
  
Will: You heard me!  
  
Jack: Now Will....  
  
Will: What? Is the famous Jack Sparrow afraid of a challenge? smirk   
  
Jack: glare You're going to regret the day you challenged me....  
  
P.A.: Like you're going to regret YOU'RE challenge to me?  
  
Jack: winces and slaps his forehead Bloody hell....  
  
P.A.: Well you and Will have you're little binge fest. You and I will talk later about our deal. skips off   
  
Kenshin: Ok... It's been five minutes.  
  
Youko: Let's go!  
  
P.A.: GUYS! hops in front of their cell   
  
Kenshin and Youko: anime fall   
  
P.A.: As the temporary captain of the Black Pearl, I release you from the brig! unlocks the cell   
  
Youko: Wait... Captain?  
  
P.A.: When I said I was going to take over the ship, I meant it.  
  
Kenshin: smirk So what do we do, Captain?  
  
P.A.: Well.....  
  
And so they celebrated for the night, drinking rum and singing songs, on their way to London. But the next morning.....  
  
Youko and Kenshin: throwing up over the side of the ship   
  
Jack: scratches his head I don't get them.  
  
Will: -.- Not all of us can drink like you, Jack. rubs his temples Ow...  
  
Jack: Well at least you proved you could hold your liquor.  
  
P.A.: sipping a margarita wearing sun glasses and singing IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS! AND GETTIN' CAUGHT IN THE RAIN!  
  
Jack: I don't get her either.  
  
Will:.....Not many of us do I believe.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&TO THE OTHERS&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Ceke: grumbling I can't believe they sent me after a yellow alien. sits on a hill and pulls out binoculars Let's see.... looks through them Why is Cean dressed like a hippie.....?  
  
Cean's Voice: PEACE, LOVE, AND BOXER SHORTS!  
  
Rabbit: rabbit noise   
  
Ceke: looks at it What was that?  
  
Rabbit: rabbit noise   
  
Ceke: No way. I don't believe you.  
  
Rabbit: chews on grass   
  
Ceke: NO WAY! It can't happen. looks through binoculars Shit... You were right. Matt is crying like a baby next to Dipsy's corpse....  
  
Matt's Voice: EL QUWEE QUWEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Rabbit: gnaws on her pant leg   
  
Ceke: You're right, Flopsum. You're absolutely right. Kerry shouldn't be president. I SHOULD!  
  
Flopsum: wiggles his nose   
  
Ceke: LET'S GO! jumps up   
  
La-La: blinks at Ceke   
  
Ceke: blinks   
  
La-La: .......  
  
Ceke: ........  
  
La-La: smiles and holds a flower out to Ceke   
  
Ceke: o.o UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT WITHIN RANGE OF A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE!  
  
Flopsum: o.o flies into La-La and rips her head off   
  
La-La: X.X  
  
Ceke: blink AWESOME! You'll be my secret service!  
  
Flopsum: now wearing a tiny black suit and sunglasses ............... rabbit noise   
  
Ceke: I guess you could have a revolver.... Is that standard issue for secret service?  
  
Flopsum: chews grass   
  
Ceke: RIGHT! picks the rabbit up LET'S GO!  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
P.A.: That... seriously rocked.  
  
Hiei: beating his head against the wall   
  
Kurama: I guess the weirdness was too much.....  
  
P.A.: Well the lobster thing was personal experience. I did it in a restaurant. I got chicken though because I didn't want someone to pay that much for me. It was like thirty bucks an ounce!  
  
Kurama: That was very kind of you.  
  
P.A.: I know... Wasn't it? R&R people! 


	9. BIRDS!

P.A.: It's been so long since a update from me.... I'm such a slacker...

Ceke: Yes you are.

P.A.: You're my counterpart... You're supposed to support me.

Ceke: ............ That's not in my contract.

P.A.: -.- I need a new Crew.... ONWARD!

Disclaimer: I don't use anything that I use besides the nonexistent plot and OCs.

AN: Sorry for lack of updates in every story. School is a bitch.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

When we last left off in our story, P.A. and her current accomplices were on their way to England to acquire a special car. Their mode of transportation was none other than the infamous _Black Pearl_, which P.A. became temporary captain of through her sneaky ways and a gullible Will Turner. How was she spending her Captainship...?

P.A.: -laying on a deck chair with sunglasses-

Kenshin: -laying next to her wearing sunglasses and reading a magazine-

P.A.: Ok ask me another one.

Kenshin: -reads- Would you rather hang by a thread or drop and hope for minimal injuries?

P.A.: .......... How high up am I exactly?

Kenshin: -.- It is just a question, Miss P.A.

P.A.: But how am I supposed to answer if I don't know how high I am?!

Kenshin: How about I give you another question.... Which letter is better, A or B? 

P.A.:.....................

Kenshin: -sweatdrop- It's not that hard of a question!

P.A.: .............. ABBBABAAAABABABABABAABAABA.

Kenshin: o.o

P.A.:....... I still can't choose...

Youko: -growls from where he's leaning over the side of the ship- Would you shut up for once.... I'm too sick to have your voice screaming....

P.A.: Want me to sing and make you feel better?

Youko: -opens his mouth to say no but turns green and throws up over the side of the ship-

P.A.: I'll take that as a yes!

Jack: -at helm- _Please_ don't sing! -grumble-

P.A.: -pout- How dare you order around your captain!

Jack: -mutter- Should have listened to Gibbs... shoulda thrown her overboard.

P.A.: .................-hic-

Kenshin: o.O Miss P.A.?

P.A.: -hic hic hic hic-

Youko: -groan- Great... now she has the hiccups... More pain for my poor skull.

-THIRTY MINUTES LATER-

P.A.: -hic-.................. How many hiccups was that?

Will: 87, captain.

Jack: Why do you call HER captain and not me?!

Will: -sweatdrop-

P.A.: AHHHHHHHHHH-hic-HHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M GONNA –hic-DIE!

Youko: You are? YOU ARE?! WOOOOOOOO!

P.A.: AHHHHHHHHHH-hic-HHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kenshin: -.- Why are you going to die, Miss P.A.?

P.A.: -latch- It's a superstition that I heard once –hic- that if you hiccup 100 times in a row you DIE! I DON'T –hic- WANNA DIE! I'm so young, so talented..... I NEVER EVEN GOT TO SEE THE FREAKIN' –hic- OTHER SIDE OF THE OCEAN YET! –bursts into loud tears- 

Kenshin: -panics and his new and improved 'Motherly Mode' kicks in- P.A.! Don't cry! Youko and I will cure your hiccups!

Youko: We will?

Kenshin: -glares and unsheathes sakabato- Skinned alive.

Youko: o.o SURE WE WILL!

P.A.: Weeeeee! I knew I loved you two as parents! –hug.......hic- ............ I'M GONNA DIEEEEEEE!

Kenshin: We need to scare her!

Youko: I think she's scaring herself enough as it is....

Kenshin: YOUKO!

Youko: Right, right... geez... –looks up over P.A.'s head- o.o

P.A.: -hic- 97... –sniffle hic- 98.... –hic- What are you doing Youko...?

Youko: -points- A storm cloud...

Jack: That ain't a storm cloud... It's moving against the wind...

P.A.: -looks- That sounded like The Lord of the-BIRDS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

It was then a large flock of black birds swooped down on the ship, engulfing it in a feathery cloud. Mass panic. Enough said.

P.A.: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THAT OLD DIRECTOR GETTING REVENGE FROM THE GRAVE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-oh hey they're gone.

Kenshin: -latched to Youko- o.o I hate birds....

Youko: -eye twitch- And I'm afraid of this guy....?

P.A.: Those birds looked awfully familiar....

Jack: -growling- Were they friends of yours?

P.A.: No... Oh hey they tore the sail on your ship.

Jack: MY ship?! YOU'RE the temporary captain! 

P.A.: Well I resign from my duties until we get the sail fixed.

Jack: -eye twitching-

P.A.: Hey! My hiccups are gone! I'M SAVED!

Jack: Why you little....! –tackle-

P.A.: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MOTHER! 

Kenshin: GET OFF MY CHILD WOMANIZER! –jumps into the fray-

Youko:........... I need a new husban-NO! Don't get caught up in that lie, Youko!! Pull yourself together! 

Will:............ Isn't it strange that a flock of birds appeared in them middle of the ocean...? Or am I the only one to realize this?

P.A.: -hops out of the fight and over to him- You're right.... Those birds looked familiar too...

Youko: -pulls Kenshin away from Jack-

Will: -pulls out a eyeglass and looks the way the birds flew- I see land...

P.A.: LAND?! -jumps onto his back and grabs the spy glass- Let me see! –looks through it- LAND HO!

Will: My ears....

P.A.: That has to be England! Ok crew! Change course and go... –pause-..... THATTA WAY! –points-

Jack: RRRRRR YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T CAPTAIN!

P.A.: Well I changed my mind.

Jack: -tackle-

P.A.: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MOTHER!

Kenshin: GET OFF MY CHILD!

Youko: -looks over the side of the ship- I don't think a drop from here can kill me... maybe I should cut myself and get eaten by sharks.

Will: -goes to change course-

&&&

Yusuke: -sitting on roof of car with chibi Hiei- Ok. That teletubbie is in the trunk now.

Hiei: You're disgusting.

Yusuke: And you're two feet tall.

Hiei: ENOUGH HEIGHT JOKES DAMNIT!

Yusuke: Want me to move on to sexuality jokes?

Hiei: -.- I want to go home.

Yusuke: Hey you know... You should be normal now... I wonder if the effect those cookies had on you was... o.o Permanent.

Hiei: O.O NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cean: -walks up in tie-dye shirt, bellbottom pants, rose tinted sunglasses, and bare feet- What's all the yelling about, man?

Yusuke: o.o Sweet clothes.

Hiei: Are you carrying a rabbit...?

Cean: This is Grover Cleveland, man.

Yusuke:........... I haven't passed high school yet but I know for a fact that isn't some dead guy.

Cean: -covers the rabbit's ears- Don't call him a dead guy, man! It insults him, man! Show a little respect for the emu!

Hiei: Emu...?

Yusuke: Hand over whatever you're smoking, Cean.

Cean: NEVER!

Ceke: -walks up in suit and tie- Hello, everyone.

Cean: Ceke... YOU'RE WITH THE MAN?!

Ceke: Not yet I'm not. I'm running for president of the United States!

Hiei: I thought they revoked your citizenship after you egged the white house.

Ceke: Well I got it back.

Hiei: How?

Ceke: It involved painstaking stealth, gorgeous blackmail, and a mime.

Yusuke:............. So yeah when you're president can I be on the senate?

Ceke: Of course.

Hiei: WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE RABBITS?! AND WHY DOES IT HAVE A GUN?!'

Cean: NOOOOOOO, man! SHE'S BETRAYED US FOR THE MAN, man, AND ALL IS LOST TO THEIR TYRANNICAL WAYS!

Matt: -walks up with a bloody mallet- Ceke betrayed us....? WAAAAAAAAAAAH! T.T

Everyone: ....................

Yusuke: Matt...? Is that you?

Matt: And Yusuke lost his memory! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! T.T

Yusuke: o.O So I see you have a rabbit too....

Hiei: This place is insane... INSANE!

Cean: We also destroyed those teletubbies, man. We brought them back as souvenirs.

Yusuke: HOORAY!

Hiei: Ugh.... –gets in the car-

&&&

Meanwhile, the _Black Pearl_ had landed on the land that the mysterious birds had flown to. But as everyone had suspected when P.A. said that must be England.... it was not England.

Youko:..................

Kenshin: Miss P.A.... -.-

P.A.: WHAT?! It's not my fault the navigation here is lousy!

Jack: Don't you DARE put this all on me!

Will: I would.... You were at the helm the whole time.

Jack: Shut up, whelp.

Will: Don't call me whelp, womanizer!

Jack: Eunich!

Will: Pirate scum!

Jack: Now, William, you're a pirate now.

Will: ......... Oh yes. I keep forgetting that. Forgive me.

Jack: All is forgiven.

P.A.: -.- GUYS! We have a MUCH bigger problem.....

Elven Archers: -surround the crew ready to fire upon them-

&&&

Yusuke: -pulls up in front of the apartment complex listening to radio-

Radio: And the robot is still wreaking destruction upon the country of Japan. Our military has contained it for now but it will soon destroy them all like it has the other ten military units. We're still doomed. Expect showers of debris throughout the week.

Ceke: Wow.... No wonder Tsuki never lets us use her car.

Hiei: -hops out of the car regretting ever stealing those artifacts, which led to him being beaten by Yusuke, which led to him helping the human, which led to him being forced to go to that toga party at Delta House, which led him to meet P.A. and her friends, which led to THIS-

Bui: There you are, Urameshi! I have been waiting for several hours to destroy the fire wielder Hiei and my mocha frappucino ran out about two hours ago! You have made me wait long enough! Where is the one they call Hiei?!

Yusuke: -gets out of the car and blinks- Uhhhhhh..... And you are?

Bui: -face fault-

Hiei: -jumps forward and draws his now miniature katana- I will face you now, Bui, and destroy you once and for all!

Bui: -gets up and blinks- Hiei? Why are you so small?

Hiei: -eye twitch- I am NOT small.....

Bui: -blinks at his voice- You're... a child?!

Hiei: I am NOT a child... –twitch twitch-

Bui: BWAHAHAHAHA! HIEI, THE GREAT DRAGON MASTER, IS A CHILD! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

The other four: -look at each other and take a step away from Hiei-

Hiei: RAWR! –jumps up and latches to Bui's face-

Bui: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! –runs around screaming- GET IT OFF! IT'S SCRATCHING MY EYES OUT! GET IT OFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF!

Cean: Little Flower Dude! Violence is not the answer, man!

Ceke: No Flopsum. Put your gun away.

Matt: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

Yusuke: GO FOR THE JUGULAR, HIEI! BE ONE WITH THE LOBSTER IN YOU!

Ceke: -turns to the other four- Guys... I guess this is where I say goodbye to you all.

Matt: -sniffle- What do you mean....?

Ceke: I'm going to realize my destiny and become the president of the United States!

Cean: Now that she mentions it, man.... I am also going to realize my destiny as a peace-loving hippie.

Matt: So you're leaving too?! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yusuke: Yeah... I have to go and do something too.

Ceke: So we're all going our separate ways then....?

Yusuke: Seems like it. Hey, Matt watch after Hiei would you?

Matt: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yusuke: Ok thanks man! -gets in car and drives off-

Ceke: -shakes Cean's hand and runs off with Flopsum-

Cean: -runs off in the opposite direction-

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

P.A.: I don't think that was as funny as it could have been....

Kurama: -sitting next to her- You did your best.

P.A.: Yeah.... Well R&R people. Sorry for the huge delay.

Kurama: Let's go watch Saiyuki and drink hot chocolate again.

P.A.: Sure. –gets up and leaves with him-


	10. The first theft

P.A.: Welcome to a special edition of Tsuki Takes Over. This is the chapter that Tsuki and me decided should contain real life events. See if you can guess which have happened. Answers at the end of the story! Don't cheat!

Disclaimer: The plot, however small it may be, is forever mine.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Last time on Tsuki Takes Over, elven archers captured all the crew of the Black Pearl, P.A., Youko, and Kenshin after they docked in what was supposed to be England. They were now being held in a single cell awaiting their fates.

Jack: I hope you're happy.

P.A.: I am quite happy in fact.

Jack: YOU GOT US SENTENCED TO DEATH!

P.A.: Well it's not my fault!

Jack: YES IT IS!

P.A.: ...Ok fine! So I said 'llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina'! I didn't mean to get us all killed!

Kenshin: What does that mean?

P.A.: You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Celeborn sure can't take a joke.

Jack: -**glares darkly at P.A.**-

P.A.: ...WHAT!

Youko: -**sleeping** **soundly** **in** **back** **of cell**-

Will: Please keep it down. You'll wake Youko and he'll try and strangle you again, Captain.

Jack: Stop calling her Captain, Will! You're supposed to be on my side!

Will: -**sweatdrop**-

P.A.: If only we had a bench!

Jack: o.O A... what?

P.A.: So we can have the proper leverage to lift the door off! Will did it before and we could too!

Will: Except we don't have any benches...

P.A.: Oh bother... –**sits** **and** **pouts**-

Gibbs: I told you, Jack. It's bad luck to have a woma-

P.A.: DON'T YOU EVEN START!

&&&Two hours later&&&

Kenshin: They could have at least given us some magazines to read as we wait.

Jack: For what? Our doom or for her to get us out of here? –**points at P.A**.-

P.A.: -**sitting in front of cell**- I'm trying to catch a pigeon. Think of your own way out.

Will: A... what?

P.A.: Pigeon. –**points to propped up bucket with her ration of bread under it**-

Jack: Ugh. –**pulls his hat down and lays near Youko**-

Will: -**sits next to her**- Why?

P.A.: So we may escape!

Will:...Using a pigeon.

P.A.: Exactly.

Will:...

Kenshin: -**shrugs and sits with them too**-

Ana Maria: That girl is insane...

Cotton's Parrot: AWK! Aye avast!

Gibbs: That's right, Mr. Cotton. We all knew Will would go insane too someday.

&&&One hour later&&&

Crew: -**asleep**-

P.A.:...

Will: Nothing has come by yet.

Kenshin: Well those two very short people have come by, that they have.

P.A.: Hobbits. I believe their names were Merry and Pippin.

Will: How do you know?

P.A.: I know EVERYTHING!

Will: o.o... Alright.

P.A.: Oh look a pigeon! –**points**-

Pigeon: -**waddles under the bucket for bread**-

P.A.: -**pulls the rope and knocks stick out**- Hooray! We have a pigeon!

Will: So tell us what the plan is.

P.A.: Well. We spin the bird around lots of times and then tuck its head under its wing.

Kenshin: Then what?

P.A.: Then we tie it to Youko's toe.

Both:...

Will: We what?

P.A.: Tie the pigeon to Youko's toe! Duh! Didn't you hear what I said?

Kenshin: We heard you, Miss P.A. Just _why_?

P.A.: You'll see! -**pulls bucket over and grabs the pigeon, spinning it around and running over** **to** **Youko**-

Will: I wonder what this will accomplish.

Jack: Her death hopefully.

Will: Jack! You're awake!

Jack: So it would seem...mate.

Will: How much have you heard?

Jack: Enough to know you're tying a bird to the poor lad's toe.

P.A.: -**pops** **up**- Oh it's not his toe anymore.

Kenshin: o.O What... did you tie it to, Miss P.A.?

Youko: HOLY SHIT THERE'S A BIRD IN MY PANTS! -**lots of scuffling and screaming heard from obviously startled fox and crew**-

Three: o.o... –**back** **away** **from** **P.A.**-

P.A.: What? What did I do?

Youko: -**flies by being dragged by the pigeon, which is tied to his tail**- GET IT OFF! OW OW OW OW!

Three: ... –**look away blushing and shuffle feet**-

P.A.:...OH! PERVERTS! –**gets bowled over by a crew member trying to escape the pigeon's wrath**-

Elven Guard: What's going on here?

Everyone: -**freeze and look at him wide eyed, feathers drifting down everywhere**-

Elven Guard: ...Is that a dead bird hanging from your tail? –**points**-

Youko: -**looks down at it**- Why yes it is. Wonder how that got there.

Elven Guard: ...

Jack: Ah bloody hell. –**reaches through bars and grabs the front of the elf's shirt, pulling him forward into the bars**-

Elven Guard: X.X

P.A.: -**grabs the keys and unlocks the cell**-

Will: Her plan worked!

P.A.: What plan?

Will:...The pigeon plan.

P.A.: Oh that. I just did that for fun.

Youko: -**tackles** **her**-

P.A.: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kenshin: Youko! Let her go!

Youko: NO! –**strangles**-

P.A.: Can't... breathe...

Kenshin: -**sigh**- I give up. –**to** **Jack**- You seem very good at escapes.

Will: He's actually not. He just has a lot of dumb luck.

Jack: -**hits him over the head**-

Will: x.x

Jack: What of it?

Kenshin: You should join our group.

Jack:... You're kidding me right?

Kenshin: -**shakes** **head** **no**- Will is joining us.

Jack: WILL?

Will: -**sweatdrop**- Sorry, Jack.

Jack: Why?

P.A.: -**pops** **up**- Because we're going to pull off the greatest thefts in all of the WORLD! –**thunder** **booms**-

Jack: Well my crew and I do that!

P.A.: But not like us! We're going to commit our first theft today actually.

Youko: Really now? Of what?

P.A.: -**smirk**-

&&&In the Fellowship's camp&&&

Gimli: Those bloody elves are runnin' around in a frenzy. I bet ya one o' their trees is on fire o' somethin'.

Legolas: -**twitches**- They are looking for escaped prisoners.

Gimli: Stupid elves. Can't even keep track o' their own captives.

Legolas: Why you...! –**reaches** **for** **arrow**-

Aragorn: Legolas... –**stern** **look**-

Legolas: -**sighs and sits with a pout**-

Merry: I saw the prisoners. Nice lot they were.

Pippin: The girl gave me a cookie!

Sam:...Why?

Pippin: Because I told her where we were camping. –**munches on said cookie**-

Everyone: ...

P.A.: -**jumps out of the bushes**- Here we are! The Fellowship of the Ring! Please no flash photography. It scares the exhibits.

Will: -**follows**- None of us have cameras.

Kenshin: I do! –**snaps** **a few pictures**- I'm scrap booking this whole trip.

Everyone:...

Youko: Alright then...

P.A.:...Right.

Boromir: You're the escaped prisoners!

Cotton's Parrot: AWK! Shiver me timbers!

P.A.: He says thank you for that overly obvious statement.

Fellowship: -**clueless glances at each other**-

P.A.: Anyways we're here on a missionary trip to spread the word that all hobbits are at one point in their lives, or for the whole of their lives, evil.

Hobbits: o.o Pardon?

P.A.: To explain on this topic is Priest Jack Sparrow. Please come forward now.

Silence.

P.A.: _Please _come forward _now_.

Silence.

P.A.: JACK GET OUT HERE!

Jack: I refuse to come out in this outfit. Give me my old clothes back.

P.A.: -**hissed** **whisper**- Just come out! It will be worth it in the end!

Jack: -**comes out in a priest robe and hair combed neatly**- I feel ridiculous.

P.A.: Good thing there aren't any alter boys around or press, or we'd REALLY have a scandal.

Everyone: o.o

P.A.: -**hops onto Sam's travel pack**- Brothers and sisters! We're here today to FIGHT the devil and his four-foot servants! –**points at the hobbits**- Listen now as Priest Sparrow comes forth and spreads word to your unholy ears of these beasts plaguing the minds of this grand Middle Earth!

Hobbits: -**look offended even though they have no idea who the devil is or how that related to them in any way. I believe they were offended for the fact if such a rumor was spread about them they wouldn't get the free fries discount at Bilbo's Cafe**-

Kenshin: Quite a lovely speech, Miss P.A.

P.A.: -**hops off the pack**- I thought so too. Take it away, Priest man.

Jack: -**walks forward and sighs, adopting a priest-like stance and air**- Good evening, gentlemen.

Youko: Oh he's good.

Will: He's had experience in this field actually.

Kenshin: -**snaps a picture**-

Jack: -**raises** **hands**- Hobbits are a defiance of all creation. Their short stature and young looks only hide their true intentions! They defy God and all His glory! They are imps and demons of Satan! And imps just aren't nice. –**nod** **nod**-

The crew: -**nod** **with** **him**-

Frodo: We aren't evil!

Merry: Yeah! We're just hobbits!

Jack: -**points at them for dramatic effect**- Exactly! You defy God with your sins!

Will: I can't believe he's saying this...

Sam: What sins would that be?

Jack: Simple my foolish anti-Christ. You lead people to DOOM!

P.A.: He's making me so proud...

Aragorn: Doom? -**warily eyes hobbits**- Do go on.

Jack: They lead unsuspecting men, dwarves, and elves to death with their false sob stories! Look at them and their beady little eyes! –**points** **at** **hobbits**- The anti-Christ shines within them!

Other members of Fellowship: -**stare** **at** **hobbits** **wide**-**eyed**-

Pippin: -**munching** **another** **cookie** **P.A.** **handed** **him**- Oh really? Go on.

Merry and Sam: PIPPIN!

Jack: -**slaps both of them on the forehead**- You are SAVED!

Both: x.x

Crew: AMEN!

Jack: Now where was I...?

P.A.: -**tugs his sleeve and whispers**- Beady little eyes.

Jack: Ah yes. Ahem... Their beady little eyes draw you in and they preach their stories to you! They say they want to save the world but in reality they wish to destroy it for Satan!

Kenshin: They did it to my world, sir. –**sniffle**-

Youko: Let it all out. –**pats him on the back**-

Kenshin: They killed my puppy and destroyed the rainforest! –**sobs into Youko's shoulder**-

Legolas: o.o NO!

Kenshin: YES! –**sob** **sob**-

P.A.: They're starting to frighten me with their realism.

Jack: And they are leading YOU to sorrow and damnation! That ring is only bait to lead you to death! Let God save your souls now! Turn from these foul creatures and towards the light of the Lord!

Crew: -**clap** **clap** **clap**-

Jack: -**stalks** **over** **to** **P.A.**- Your turn.

P.A.: We make a grand team, Sparrow. –**shakes** **his** **hand** **rapidly**-

Jack: Right... I am going to change. –**stalks** **back** **to** **bushes**-

P.A.: They're next to the bird nest! –**hops onto Sam's pack again**- Any questions before we depart?

Sam: I don't have a question but you are just a dirty liar! Mr. Frodo isn't leading them with the ring!

P.A.: AHA! You call ME a liar!

Youko: Which is true mind you.

P.A.: Ignoring that. You call ME a liar! Frodo doesn't even HAVE the ring!

Everyone: GASP!

Boromir: What?

Gimli: You dirty rotten...!

Aragorn: Frodo... –**shocked**-

Legolas: TREE KILLER!

Frodo: o.o But I DO have the ring! Right here! –**pulls out chain which has no ring on it**- O.O

Youko: -**shoves something into his pocket with a smug smirk**-

P.A.: There you have it! The anti-Christ hath tricked you!

Aragorn: I feel so... used...

Gimli: -**crying** **loudly**-

Legolas: EVIL SCUM!

_I would like to take this small section to note that the inhabitants of Middle Earth have no idea who God, Christ, Jesus, Satan, the Anti-Christ, etc. are and that even if they did it probably wouldn't matter to them anyways. This is because it doesn't matter if you know what the hell is in the little book or if you understand it. If you believe something entirely it has the ability to rule your once completely judgmental thoughts on the subject and turn you against your friends. It's kind of like Doctor Phil in a way..._

P.A.: Don't let them use you! Join us on our happy quest instead!

Aragorn: For what?

P.A.: Riches, glory, fame, free cable...

Legolas: What's cable?

P.A.: Come with me and find out!

Aragorn: That sounds interesting... I didn't want to be king anyways.

Legolas: And I wish to know more of this quest.

P.A.: How splendid! –**spin** **spin**-

Jack: -**comes back in his pirate clothes**- The elven guards are coming.

Aragorn: I thought you were a Priest.

Jack: I am. I'm a Priestly Pirate or something of the sort. An oxymoron I think.

Will: I'll go with the moron part.

Jack: WILL! -**chases him towards the ship**-

P.A.: As captain I welcome you to the crew of the Black Pearl! NOW RUN!

Everyone: -**run and avoid a barrage of arrows**-

&&&

The crew safely managed to return to their ship and set sail. Currently they lounged while Jack manned the helm. Will stood next to him, overseeing the activities on deck. At the moment P.A. sat in a small huddle with Legolas, Aragorn, and Kenshin as Youko sat off to the side. Youko had been, for the past several hours, petting the ring they stole from Middle Earth and whispering to himself.

Youko: Precious... my precious... Mine... my own...

Will: Jack, mate, I have a question.

Jack: Aye?

Legolas: Miss P.A. I have a question.

P.A.: Yes?

Will/Legolas: Why does that man look like me? –**point** **at** **each** **other**-

Jack/P.A.: The answer is obvious.

Will/Legolas: Yes?

Jack/P.A.: You're long lost twin brothers of course.

Will/Legolas: ...I see. I will do my best to get to know my new brother better.

And with that, Legolas and Will met on the deck and went off on a stroll towards the front of the ship, determined to learn about each other and form a brotherly bond. Everyone was thusly unaware just how similar P.A. and Jack had been in their thought process at that specific moment and are probably best left in the dark.

Aragorn: I still do not see the point in this.

P.A.: Relax I did this before. –**holding** **a** **greasy paper towel**-

Aragorn:... You've burned bacon grease before.

P.A.: Well not exactly bacon grease... it was gasoline... ANYWAYS! Just light it on fire.

Kenshin: -**scrap booking his newly developed pictures**- I do not think that is a good idea, that I do.

P.A.: Psh.

Aragorn: -**lights the paper towel on fire**-

P.A.: Look how long it burns... –**watches little flame slowly eat away the towel**- It goes on like this for a while. –**bursts into a ball of flames**- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! –**runs around waving arms**-

Everyone: o.o

Kenshin: -**snaps a picture or two**-

P.A.: -**jumps overboard**-

Youko: SHE DIED! WOO! –**goes to look at her corpse**-

Kenshin: She WHAT! –**runs over to look**-

Youko: I'm so... happy! –**sobs into Kenshin's shoulder, forgetting the ring**-

P.A.: CUT! –**comes out of the captain's cabin**- That went perfect! Too bad my stunt double died... again...

Youko: DAMN YOU! –**chases**- WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LIVE AGAIN!

P.A.: -**runs**- WHAT? I thought you got the memo!

Kenshin: -**chases** **Youko**- Stop chasing her!

Jack: Will, lad, I have a question.

Will: Yes, Jack?

Jack: We had no room on this ship before them so how do they fit now?

Will: We share bunks.

Jack: So the lass shares with Ana Maria?

Will: Oh no she shares with me.

Jack: WHAT?

Will: -**sweatdrop**- Ana Maria scares her.

Jack: Why will she share a bed with you and not ME! AND YOU'RE ENGAGED!

Will: You scare her too. And I believe she's more like a daughter to me.

Jack:...

Will: She ends up moving under the mattress during the night and sleeping there anyways.

Jack: Not you too... –**groans and returns to the helm**-

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

P.A.: Thirteen pages of inane babble on my behalf. I hope you liked it. Here are the answers for the "Real Life Events" thing:

_1. The pigeon catching event took place when my father worked as a fire fighter. Yes they caught pigeons. Yes they tied them to each other's feet. It amused me so I had to use it._

_2. The fake sermon has been said by me, on the hobbits. The first line P.A. says, "Brothers and sisters! We gather here today blah blah...", actually comes from a musical Tsuki was in called Anything Goes. It also amused me. We all know Jack Sparrow has posed as a man of the church before._

_3. Bilbo's Café actually exists in North Carolina. I saw it with my own eyes._

_4. The burning of the bacon grease happened. No I did not catch on fire. It was fun to watch it burn though. It burns forever._

_5. I did actually slip under the mattress of the bed I was sharing and slept there for the rest of the night. It was quite comfortable and dulled the snoring around me._

Ceke: THE END!

Cean: We weren't even IN this chapter!

P.A.: You weren't supposed to. You actually don't come back for what I know.

Cean and Ceke: ...

P.A.: R&R please!


End file.
